Time Marches On

Well it is the end of another adventurous year and as the next one is ready to begin, I find myself thinking about the experiences and the time that I have had in life. I wonder did I spend it well? Did I do the right things? Did I accomplish anything from my efforts? Honestly I believe each of these questions can be answered yes and no. I am proud of my accomplishments and sad of my mistakes and shortcomings. Its hard not to dwell on those things that you failed doing. I feel that my kids are my greatest accomplishment and being a mom is my greatest failure. I try so hard to be a good mom to my beautiful kids and I love them more than life itself. I will always do my best to let them know that. I feel that my every waking moment should be with them teaching them everything that I know and the good morals and knowledge I want to implant in their heads. I want to encourage right choices and enjoy every minute. I have so many wants for them and I feel that that is mostly what they are. If this was a perfect world, I would be able to do everything for my kids and not have one thought of regret thinking I should have worked with my daughter more on potty training because if I had she would not be 3 and in diapers or the thought that my son is in his crib crying while I lay down for a minute of sleep. For every mom out there we have different obstacles. My obstacles as a full-time working mom working at nights and has depression sometimes is to have energy and to teach my kids. In this I feel that I have failed. I want the world for my kids but have no energy to do so and I listen to the many other mom even in my same instance that are super moms. Why can't I be that person for my kids? In this I have failed. With each senario raising a family is hard and well worth it. I thank God every day for my beautiful kids but am I giving them everything they need? No I am not but I am giving them what I can, love and a foundation for life. Yes my house is a mess and I don sleep when I can. All I can do with myself is give it my all and hope I raise those kids the best I can. It is a neverending vicious cycle for me, a constant battle in life. I pray my kids will become the best people they can be and hope I contribute to their good decisions. As I struggle I know that my kids are worth it. They are my everything.

All I can do is try to improve in the new year. We will always suceed, we will always fail, but we will always love, we will always learn. As time marches on I know who I want to be and to see in the mirror, some one who has tried and given 100%, some one who always wants to suceed even knowing you might not. Doing everything I can to give my kids the things they deserve and to give hope. They make me who I am and I hope to help make them into the strong positive individuals they can become. 

So Many Moments So little time!

One Of my Favorites

Just Really Comfortable

Who says your face freezes

She did this on her own

My Happy girl in the sun

Well I feel Like I have gotten really behind. I have so many pictures and so many moments and not enough time for them to write them down. Delainy is now 4 months old. She can roll over, laugh hysterically, blow raspberries and her newest thing is to fake cough. It is so funny. She is the light of my life. Never have I felt thing way about anything else. I am so happy to see her when I come from work each day. It is the greatest joy to see the smile on her face. She loves watching mickey mouse and playing on her play mat. It is so wonderful to see her personality come out. What can I say I enjoy being a mom. It is the most tiring and rewarding job I could have. 

Momma

Well Delainy said momma the other day. Johnny was all bummed out to hear that not that she really knows what she is saying. lol I will take it but I explained that when she learns her actual first that he will know. As we all know they usually learn dadda first. Delainy is officially 3 months old now as well. We have a while to go.

Dinner With The Family

Went to dinner at Olive Garden with Johnny's family tonight. There were quite a few of us and it was enjoyable. We don't see them often. Delainy got passed around the table and we enjoyed the meal. I know its Sunday but what do you say when its a family get together. Family is important and I want to make sure that we spend time with them. I may learn how to juggle things as I get used to being an active church member more so I hope.

Baby's First Cereal

Well I had one more thing to add. Delainy had her first cereal yesterday. She loved it so much that she grabbed the spoon out of my hands. She even made the spoon into her mouth a few times. Everytime I put the spoon up to her mouth she tried to lick it and she smiled and talked the whole time. How cute!

The Beginning

Well I figured I would start from the beginning for Delainy. Johnny and I found out we were going to have her in March of last year right before a family get together. I decided to take a test just for the heck of it right before thinking that it would be fun to tell everyone at the get together if it was right, but I had doubts that I even was being that I hear it takes time. I had to have my sister-in-law double check the test for me to make sure I wasn't just seeing things. I was so excited that I called people not too long after I found out. Well pregnancy was hard with being sick through all of it, but I was thrilled. I went in to the hospital 8 days after my due date on the 21st of November at 8:30 in the morning. I didn't sleep at all the night before since I knew I had to be induced that morning. Apparently in my family the first born likes to wait to come out 2 weeks late but they will now induce people at 41 weeks instaed of 42. I guess I lucked out. Well almost 13 hours had passed and I had only dialated to a 2. It stunk. Finally at 0930 the next morning I was fully dialated. The Doctor though thought at that point that the baby was under stress and that we would do a c section. The nurse was sweet and asked the doctor about letting me try pushing first because she could tell I was scared and that I wanted to try. He agreed to let me push twice. My first push Delainy's heartbeat went fron 176 to 30 in seconds. By the time I was done pushing, I had 2 doctors including mine and 6 nurses pushing me to the Operating Room. The weird thing was I had completely jinxed myself. Debbie had said the day before that she would hve rather been in labor for a long time and had Jordan regularly then just find out and had her c section. I said knowing my luck I would be in labor for a long time and then have a c section. Sure enough. During my labor a half an hour before baby was born, we finally figured her name out. My dad and I liked Delainy and Johnny was looking at Sydney. Johnny told my dad if he never touched a coke product again that he would name the baby Delainy. For some reason he agreed to it and thus she became Delainy Tristin Jackson. She was born 8 minutes after I was taken to the O.R. at 9:53 AM. She was very alert and awake from the moment she was born and came out screaming. By the time I woke up, it was an hour after. She had had her bath and everyone with me at the time had seen her. She came out very health and we are so pleased with her. Even now she is alert and hates even going to sleep. We are very happy to have her part of our family now.






Ultrasound Pic at 24 weeks

 

 


Minutes After She Was Born

   


Proud Papa





Just Looking Around

 


Delainy After Her Bath





Jordan And Delainy's 1st Time Together

 





1 Day Old

   





5 Days Old

   

Delainy And Me

Today Delainy and I were able to hang out after a long week. She is getting so big and I can't seem to keep up with her. We decided to get her one of those bumbo chairs, but unfortunately she is still a little young for it. It's cute though. She also tried some baby cereal today for the first time. She LOVED it. I will put pictures up when I can get them from my dad. She is now 12 and a half pounds and over 25 inches long now. They grow so fast!